The Rude names tour

 It was over a post JOGLE beer or two, that Malcolm suggested the next cycle tour should be a route that incorporated places that had dodgy names.  He was up for it and I knew one or two other people who would welcome the chance to join in something so juvenile so I plotted, with the aid of Strumpshaw, Tincleton and Giggleewick's Marvellous Map of Great British Place names, a route that would take in Twatt in the Orkneys, Tickle Cock Bridge in West Yorkshire and Bell End in the West Midlands. Reality set in soon after my initial route was proposed - too far, too much time off work for those who did have jobs and logistically a bit of a nightmare.  So those of us who were able and as Barkis in David Copperfield so eloquently put it, "Willin." we settled for 3 days in the South East of England following three of Jack Thurston's routes from his Lost Lanes series of books!

I headed to the Liphook Loafer's house for the late August Bank Holiday and had proposed three circular routes, A tour of Chichester, A tour from Woking and finally a tour from Liphook, all of which are in the aforementioned book.

Chichester Loop

Gardener & Loafer

The Loafer and I drove to Chichester on Friday with our bikes and after the sustenance of a Greggs bacon roll headed south out of Chichester following the towpath of the Chichester Ship Canal before hitting the quiet lanes and fields of rural West Sussex and reaching the picturesque hamlet of Sidelsham Quay on the Manhood Peninsula (dodgy name alert).  The Viking had some pressing work so was unable to join us.

Sidlesham Quay

From here we headed west to the seaside resorts of East and West Wittering.  We paused on the spit at West Wittering to take in the view, with the eastern edge of the Isle of Wight visible in the distance. 

West Wittering

 Heading north on the quiet lanes we arrived in West Itchenor where liquid was taken on board at the Ship Inn before embarking on the foot passenger ferry which deposited us on the north side of the estuary just south of Bosham (apparently pronounced Bozzum, (dodgy name alert) before heading back to Chichester via the fantastic and quirky Bareg Cycles bike shop in Fishbourne. 

The Ship Inn

All aboard

Bozzum

Bareg Cycles

Saturday had been designated as football watching day so the Loafer & I had driven to Woking to get on a train to Waterloo and headed for The Emirates to watch Arsenal paly out a 2 - 2 draw with their London rivals Fulham. By Saturday night back in Liphook, The  Highgate Viking had joined us so we were ready for the Woking Loop on Sunday.

The Woking Loop

We managed to squeeze all 3 bikes on the 0925 on Sunday morning from Liphook to Woking and soon were well on our way on busy roads which given our location was hardly surprising! 

Pre cycle breakfast

Squeezed on

We stopped for coffee in Ripley, famed for its bike parts jumble which happens every April and headed for the Surrey hills. 

Coffee in Ripley

 Spectacular views looking north to London gave glimpses of Canary Wharf, The Shard and The Post Office Tower. 

The Surrey Hills

The tricky section in terms of route finding was where the A3 and M25 intersect. The massive engineering project that is going on makes it very difficult to navigate across to Wisley and its gardens.  After lot off of off road and undulating tracks, we made it to the safety of the tow path of the River Wey where we spotted John Terry (footballer) walking his dog! The return to Woking to collect the car took us passed HMP Send.  Back in Liphook, we celebrated with a beer or two and a BBQ!

The third of our jaunts was a loop from Liphook, billed in Jack Thurston's book as Quintessence of England.

A Quintessence of England

Monday departure

For rude names, this tour took the prize! The riding through the lanes was epic, Fernhurst, Lodsworth and onto Heyshott were mere points on the map and our brief visit to Cowdray Park for a quick chucka ensured our arrival in Cocking.  It took us ages to track down the only road sign with the name of the village on and getting the photo meant taking our lives in our hands as the traffic was taking no prisoners.

We dutifully dispatched the above photo off to various friends and the inevitable photo shop replica came back from the Mayor of Sant Joan, obviously too much time on his hands!

Shortly after we were gifted another gem, Didling and from then on it was a breeze back to the Rising Sun in Milland before our arrival back in Liphook.

 

Didling

So all in all, The Rude Tour is underway with 141km completed with 1000m of ascent,,,, more to come!

Redruth to Lands End

 The End to End Saturday 15th 

Suitably fed, watered and rested and with Malcolm & Natalie filming my departure, I swerved my way up the hill from the hotel and headed for Camborne along the NCR 3. My last day in the saddle was underway and it began to rain…. Well, I started this trip in the rain so it only seems fair I should finish it in the rain. Cycling up the estuary at Hayle was hard going but when I got to Marazion with its views over St Michael’s Mount, the gusting wind was ferocious! The plethora of kite surfers in Mounts Bay were having a great time… I was having difficulty staying upright, the wind was so strong.

Windy Mounts Bay

 

I briefly stopped on the quay in Penzance to record the daily video before heading down the lanes through Mousehole, once home of the Penlee lifeboat. In December 1981 whilst attempting a rescue, all 8 of the lifeboat crew tragically  lost their lives. The lifeboat station was moved to nearby Newlyn but is still known as the Penlee lifeboat. My final run into the tacky world of Lands End took me on the road above the surfers paradise of Sennen cove and onto the cliff path with fantastic views of the wild Atlantic and Wolf rock. As I swept through the entrance to Lands End the rain started, and there to capture the moment was Malcolm & Natalie with cameras in hand. 

Nearly

Made it !

The End to End Experience

The welcome party

1804 Km later

 

Malcolm & Natalie had very thoughtfully planned a little celebration and presented me with a medal, a congratulatory card, a beautiful picture and a collection of messages from friends and family… I was overwhelmed and for once lost for words.

So it’s done… off the bucket list and looking for the next challenge.

And for those interested in statistics… the journey was 25 days cycling, 1804 km long with 17,500 metres of ascent.

Finally, my heartfelt thanks to all who contributed to my trip, Dave & Rebecca in Scotland, Mike & Tina in Northwich, Einar, Richard & Sanna for the Bristol experience and Malcolm & Natalie for providing such a fantastic finish! And of course Sue for her understanding in letting me do it. 

I met a couple of cyclists on their way to Lamorna cove and they asked me if I’d do it again…. You betcha I would! 

Sunset over Portreath 
Tufty Copyright

Bude to Redruth

 Bude to Wadebridge Thursday July 13th

With 3 legs to go I was hoping for some better weather today… I was not disappointed after lunch but up until lunchtime it was hard going! Rain, steep hills and a wind in my face was not what I needed after a night at Fawlty Towers AKA The Tree Inn. Boasting as a cosy 13 th Century coaching inn, I was shown to my room , a twin, overlooking the flowered courtyard. A cracked sink in the room was only surpassed by the fact that one of the single beds had been slept in the night before and the sheets and towels were still in the room! I made a snap decision and accepted to sleep in the room in the other bed! And the final nail in the coffin was they didn’t do food. A fairly sleepless night was due to someone who had too much to drink throwing up in the courtyard below and the guy next door who put Richard Taylor’s snoring to shame! 

I was keen to get on the road so left early freewheeling down to Bude and following NCR3 again but it wasn’t long before torrential rain came and the hills got steeper. The climb up to Hallworthy on Bodmin Moor from Widemouth Bay was as hard, if not harder than anything Scotland had thrown at me back in May. 

The bleakness of Bodmin Moor was highlighted by the windswept section that took me across the old runways of RAF Davidson Moor, built in 1942 as part of Coastal Command for spotting U Boats. The descent to Blisland was equally steep as the ascent had been so the flatness of the busy Camel Trail came as a relief for the old knees! 

Just outside Wadebridge I bumped into a couple of other Riese & Muller owners who were taking their dogs for a run/ cycle! 

A quick stop at the Coop to replenish supplies before I checked into the Premier Inn and a long soak in the bath! 

Wadebridge to Redruth Friday 14th July

I delayed my start in view of the weather forecast… high winds and torrential rain … it was going to be. Marty Pellow day… WET, WET, WET. My optimism for better weather didn’t materialise so I was soaked to the skin by the time I rolled through Wadebridge town centre. But what is life without a little adversity I mused as I battled up hills and down dales into the teeth of the gale. 

On one nasty short steep climb just outside St Columb Major I encountered two young Canadian students who had just graduated from UBC in Vancouver and had decided to celebrate their graduation by cycling JOGLE… they were camping and on lightweight bikes and had set off in mid June. I wished them luck and sped off thanking God that I didn’t have to camp tonight. 

Passing signs for familiar places like Newquay and Perranporth , I sped along NCR 32 through the wonderfully named village of Zelah and into Truro, the county town of Cornwall. By now the rain had stopped and the wind had decreased to a strong breeze. Truro grew up in the 14th century as an important port for the mining industry. I didn’t have time to visit its magnificent cathedral, maybe next time?! 

The final leg of the ride took me on a single rough track through the Wheal Maid  valley where the mining of tin, arsenic, pyrite and zinc ore has left a Martian landscape with rust red lagoons and yellow soil. 

I finally arrived at the Peventon Park Hotel on the outskirts of Redruth where I settled in to await the arrival of Malcolm & Natalie who had kindly offered to drive my car down to collect me from Lands End. 

We availed ourselves of the spa facilities, dining room and bar before retiring in anticipation of the final leg! 

Tiverton to Bude

Bideford Monday 11th July

With the weather forecast not looking very pretty I decided on an early start. Leaving Tiverton and heading north towards the Brendon Hills and Exmoor beyond , I was expecting a tough day and I was not disappointed! Following NCR 3 I climbed through the National Trust property of Knightshayes Court before arriving in the pretty village of Brampton. 

Heading for Dulverton the skies got greyer and the wind increased. A strategic breakfast stop in the Mad Hatters tea room set me up for the lengthy and steep climb up onto the wilds of Exmoor. As deserted and as desolate as the north of Scotland, the rain added to the sense of isolation. A long free wheel down to Barnstaple was much appreciated by my knees and the final part of probably the hardest day of the trip, took me along the Tarka Trail into Bideford.  The Tarka Trail  is 180mile loop that explores the wilds of North Devon and named after Tarka the Otter!  My good deed for the day?… Supplying a fellow e-biker with a tool to fix his wobbly handlebar stem! 

Bideford to Bude Tuesday 12th July

The first 20kms of the todays ride was along the Tarka Trail heading from Bideford towards Holsworthy, Great cycling with gradual inclines and nothing too steep! Today was all about people! I stopped for lunch in a trail side cafe and met a group of cyclist who were heading to Sheffield from Lands End & like me would complete at a later date! Shortly after this encounter came  Gary & Rachel from Bridgewater who were raising money for a charity and intending to take 4 weeks to complete LEJOG on their e-bikes . And finally came Marten, the Dutch guy who was meandering around the UK, having packed his job in because he disagreed with the principles of his bosses! I nearly forgot my encounter in the village of Sheepwash with Benny from Crossroads… he accosted me in the village square asking whether I’d been to Scotland.. when I told him I had, he went  ballistic as he’d never met anyone from Scotland before…I don’t think he’d travelled much further than Great Torrington to be honest, and he definitely hadn’t travelled outside Devon.

I arrived in Stratton just outside Bude, slightly earlier than expected so headed down to the beach to watch the surfers . Lots of activity in the water and the sun was shining! 

My billet for the night was the Tree Inn, a quaint and quirky 17th Century coaching inn. A pint and a bed was all I needed!